Please where can I enrol to be trained as a certified demotivational speaker? Because some people will not give themselves sense till we use floral bordered paper to slap it in their head.

Some people are complete buttocks at their places of employment. When they finally leave, it is because of them they coined ‘good riddance to rubbish’. Then another self christened rubbish of a motivational speaker with no employment records who managed to buy patterned suit, shine-shine pocket square and colour-colour socks through shifty means will now come and say you should quit your job and dive into entrepreneurship.

If you know you don’t want Karma to borrow thunder from sango, consult zeus to refine it and then appoint thor to deliver it to your life personally, you better be very useful at your ogas business 1st rather than making excuses to waste his resources on your meaningless activities with no returns on investment to him.

In fact, who said everybody must be entrepreneurs sef? This 21st century ‘you must be your own oga’ nonsense gospel propagated by barrel speakers, are there not people who retire as oga pata pata at organisations still singing welcome to the good life with no (t)pain?

Please, be diligent with whatever you find yourself doing now. Do everything to become an oga there on merit (not political office cowpoop like kissing bumbums and bearing false witness). If you eventually decide to leave, let it be such that they throw you a party and even bring businesses to you when you start your own business.

If after listening to the fallacies of a superstitious speaker, you want to somersault into entrepreneurship so you can escape from your 9-5 where they constantly remind you of how much of an underperforming human being you actually are, biko, give yourself brain. Change your ways and become useful where you are. If you carry your mumu attitude into your own business, you might make money like political thieves oh but eventually, karma’s thunder will still fire you hard. All the stone you sowed in another man’s business, you will only harvest so much from your plants before they begin to wither because they’re growing on rocks.

In other news, has anyone found where I can acquire my demotivational speaking certificate yet?

4 Responses

  1. Hahahahahahaha!!! These are my thoughts, but this is direct to the very core!!! Unkoo Kunle af vex.

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